Online Infidelity

Posted: March 27th, 2020

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Online Infidelity

3. Virtual Infidelity

The increased use of the internet has led to a rise of different channels of communication and it has eased the rate at which people interact with each other. This has enabled people to communicate at their convenience, and it has broken many boundaries that prevented or slowed down communication in the past. At the same time, people have become too busy to the point that they have reduced the rate of intimate communication between them. This has in turn led to online infidelity, whereby people in a relationship hold intimate conversations with other people using online communication.  Infidelity can be defined as the betrayal of marriage and relationships. It is a betrayal of trust and it threatens the bond that exists between partners. This betrayal can be sexual or emotional.

Online infidelity begins as simple conversation with another person, which is then maintained using digital electronic conversations such as using emails and chat platforms (Graff). The conversations become personal and intimate the more the people continue communicating. They end up sharing intimate details of their lives and relationships.  Infidelity can involve a spouse or partner developing a continuous relationship with one other person, or with several people in chat rooms. The affairs conducted online are usually done in secret and efforts are made to ensure that one’s partner does not know.

Most people who end up becoming unfaithful in their relationships because of their online friendships do not start by thinking that their conversations can lead to something more. Most conversations start simply and the people involved in them do not think of the repercussions that follow. They find great comfort in knowing that they can share their feelings with another. There is some comfort in being anonymous since people rarely think of the consequences. In addition, it is easy to maintain online relationships today because people have many different ways to communicate and they can keep their conversations confidential.

It is challenging to find positive consequences of those who choose to engage in online affairs. However, some of the people report that they seek fulfillment since they are isolated in their relationships. Others seek sexual gratification which is lacking in their relationships and engaging in these relationships enable them to express themselves sexually. Some of them consider it a harmless activity since there is no form of commitment (Smith). However, the negative repercussions far outweigh any positive consequences resulting from the affairs

Negative consequences follow from online infidelity. The spouse that is being cheated on feels betrayed and hurt. They may demonstrate anger and disappointment once they learn what their partners have been doing online. The same sentiments are expressed when adultery relationships happen offline. Some of the spouses end up becoming depressed when they learn of their partners activity. The person who is having the online conversations and other interactions can end up trusting the other person more than he trusts his spouse. The person might end up replacing his partner with the online chat partner. Those engaged in this kind of behavior can end up replacing their partners as they spend more time on the internet (Heather and Findlay 129). Online infidelity can transform from simple conversations to sex chatting which some of the partners might consider the highest form of intimacy between them.

Online infidelity can lead to a lot of hurt and it ends up revealing the nature of the relationship that two people have. If one partner decides to look for another person to interact and be intimate with on the internet, it means that he lacks confidence in the relationship that he already has with his partner. It also means that there is something lacking in his present relationship to the extent that it does not give him the satisfaction he needs. That person believes that he can find someone better in the online relationship (Heather and Findlay 130).

 In many cases, online relationships give people a false sense of hope. Some of the people engaging in this behavior will never meet in person. Just like the affairs that happen physically, online infidelity can cause feelings of jealousy and insecurity. Women tend to be more concerned, worried, and threatened when their partners demonstrate emotional attachment in their online relationships, whereas men are threatened by physical encounters (Smith). Online relationships can become addictive. This is especially the case for people who have to deal with negative body images, low self confidence, low self esteem, social awkward behaviors, and sexual dysfunctions.  

The rise of the internet, advancement of technology, availability and accessibility of digital resources has led to the occurrence of online infidelity. Although many people begin as harmless fun, they end up experiencing greater attachment with the people they meet. Some people do not meet the person they contact online, but others take the initiative to meet up physically. Online infidelity has many negative consequences which can lead to breakage in marriages. The partners of the spouses who choose to engage in this activity often feel betrayed, hurt, and disappointed. Others feel insecure and jealous when their partners engage in these relationships. The fact that these relationships often result in emotional attachment makes it serious. Few positive consequences result from these relationships.

Works Cited

Graff, Martin. What is Online Infidelity? How we Define Online Infidelity. Psychology Today, 2014, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-digitally/201412/what-is-online-infidelity. Accessed 25 October 2018

Smith, Brendan L. Are Internet Affairs Different? American Psychological Association, 2011, https://www.apa.org/monitor/2011/03/internet.aspx. Accessed 25 October 2018

Underwood, Heather and Bruce Findlay.  “Internet Relationships and Their Impact on Primary Relationships.”  Behavior Change, vol. 21, no. 2, 2004, pp. 127-140